Category: Dating and Relationships
how do you get your parents *ladies, especially you* to understand that it's a serious relationship and that you know what you're doing?
You just tell them, and realise that in all likelyhood something will come along and fuck it up, weather it be you, him or just life in general. Oh and make sure to unload your dad's shotgun before the next time he comes over.
LOL, I can understand where your coming from. When I first got with my husband my Mom was so upset...She hated him, but as time has passed by she's realized that we love each other, and things are very serious. LOL, hope so, I married him. But I think the big part is time, don't insist or they could see it as pushing and maybe trying to convince yourself, just let your actions show.
thank you Witchcraft it's good you said not to push things cuz i tend to push a lot of issues with them.
yeah, take it slow, that's the best piece of advice i can give you.
The answer is simple. It's good to have their approval but if you don't get it then so be it. they can't live your life for you, you have to live it yourself. So live it and if you think you've found that person then go for it.
I've found the best way to make parents understand is simply to see the truth. If your with him for years, and plan a future together, whether or not they approve they'll eventually have to accept it if they love you. *smile*
Witchcraft how long would you say is long enough to tell them? I mean after how many years? Would you say 3 years is long enough and if not how long?
Thanks,
Vicki.
Whitchcraft how long would you say is long enough? I mean after how many years? Would you say 3 years is long enough?
Thanks,
Vicki.
Witchcraft how many years would you say to leave it before you tell them and is 3 years long enough? If not, how long?
Thanks,
Vicki.
Whitchcraft how long do you think you should leave it? I mean how many years do you think you should leave it? Do you think 3 years is long enough?
Thanks,
Vicki.
I don't believe I said leave it, but more don't push it with them. Actions and time will speak a lot louder then any words.
Witchcraft how much time would you say to give it and would you say 3 years is long enough?
Thanks,
Vicki.
Witchcraft how much time would you say to give it and would you say 3 years is long enough?
Sorry for all the entries, got confused with the Zone and accidentally clicked on something, believe it's sorted now though. Would appreciate a reply please Whitchcraft.
Thanks,
Vicki.
Like I said I wouldn't go without telling them, just don't push him on them. Expect them to treat him as the significant other; if they love you they'll take your choices, but don't expect them to realize your; or him, or serious until they're good and ready.
ADVICE? yeah heres some maja advice. DON'T take it to damn serious... guys are after 1 thing and it's the truth! if u let a guy say "I am not like the rest of em, babay I promise.... and a whole bunch of otha shit." don't believe it!!! I've been in and outa relationships and all of the guys said the same goddamn thing. And I was to stupid to believe them. I was all like "OK, this guy really loves me and I love him too. We r going 2 b together and he is not like the other guys." But, um, where did that get me in the end???? No damn where but heartache and tears... So, if u have n e more questions, then hit me up! best of look! P.S. don't rush it! make a guy prove thereself to you..... and don't be to quick to trust them (LOL I should take the own advice I just gave?)
Jeez, unseasonal grumpiness in that last post I must say, why so much anger, so much bitterness.
As for the question. It's quite simple really. Like WC said, it's about time and about proving it to yourselves and to your parents that this is it and he/she's the one. You can say anything you like but no one will really take you seriously in the first week, first month, may be after a few months of living together people will really start taking you seriously, unless you are the type of person who does not make big statements easily and once you do make such a claim your parents and friends will sit up and take notice.
But ultimately you need to prove it to everyone that this is your life and your intensions. I agree that your life is your life and you know best but I'd never just rule out my parents concerns and questions regarding a relationship, in my past they've always turned out to be spot on seeing the difficulties that I ignored and realizing that this wasn't exactly good ofr me or wouldn't be. They never objected to it but voiced their concerns and I think that's something I'd always take into account.
And, for me, since family is so important to me, I could not be with someone whom my family disapproves off altogether, I know they wouldn't do it unless they had a good reason.
To me I'd have to be with someone that I can see fit into the family, someone who will appreciate the humor, be willing to help out with big projects, someone who would like to be with my family for big events and would actually enjoy it and someone the family would feel was an addition and I'd expect to mee the same conditions with her family, after all it's good to have the extended family to help you out once you start having kids etc.
And it does take time. I'm 28 and only within the last month have I been 100% convinced that I've found the perfect girl to spend the rest of my life with and everything falls into place beautifully. And I think my family takes full notice of me stating that "this is it" because I've never done that before. And I'm convinced that you just know when it's right.
So, like I said, actions speak louder than words and use both your heart and your brain when you're making those big decissions, they should always agree, if you have doubts, it's a very bad thing. And also if you are convinced then don't spend so much time and energy forcing people around you to agree with you, just give them time and prove to them, through your actions and happiness and plans, that this is the right person for you, only that way can you really convince anyone.
cheers
-B
heay voice twin big Hugs! Like most have already said, just take it slow. They will more than likely see how happy you and the boy are when you finally move in together. They have to anyway, because you will be moving closer to me! hehee smiles! big hugs chicky! miss ya, Shea
Wildebrew is totally right on this one... you can't tell them s/he is the right one. You've got to show them, or let time and your relationship show them, rather. Oh, and aw, how sweet :-).
Thanks for the advice, guys. I kinda feel that way too, although we're not in a relationship I just really like him, and the reason I can't say anything to my parents is cause of the three-year age difference. But like you said, witchcraft, time will take care of that.
Just tell them, simple, ain't it?
3 years? bla. And oy fucking multiples! god! Sorry but witchcraft pissed me off. lol.